so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
