I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
