would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
