So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ok first of all what the fuck
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
