yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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