hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
