I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
