I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
