Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
