Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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