also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't deserve a penis
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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