it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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