Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
