I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
