I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
