fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
