piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize