i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
