sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
