if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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