at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
