Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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