I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
