So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
