My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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