I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
