Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
