I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
