i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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