Buhtt sex?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
