yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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