I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
