so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
