I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
