susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
