I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
