just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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