Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
