I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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