yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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