she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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