Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
