Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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