Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
