Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
