Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
