Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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