38 yer olds are good kisserssss
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
