I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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