You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize