I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
