he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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