No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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