I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
