Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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