Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
