so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
