I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
