Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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