i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
