I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
