Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
