living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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