think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
