you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
