she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
