I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am one with the molecules
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize