There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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