I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
