I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
