Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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