you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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